All I Ever Wanted
by dragonlore1981
Summary: Follow Edward and Bella from right before the wedding through their honeymoon. It is told in EPOV. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Forever

**All I Ever Wanted**

**Chapter One: Forever**

Esme asked, therefore we do. Not the way a child does what a parent tells them to do, but the way you do something you don't want to do for someone you love unconditionally. Esme asked us to fix a couple of things in the back yard that Alice and Rosalie "forgot" to do. More like leave it for the boys to do so they don't get in trouble work. Good luck on that one.

Emmett, Jasper, and I were stuck outside, where I didn't want to be, cleaning up sticks, leaves, and such from the grounds for at least the next hour. Everyone's thoughts were circulating around Bella. Was she going to fall down the steps. Did the dress fit right? How should her hair be done? Hope. Joy. Happiness. Sadness? Ah Charlie. He had to say his good bye today, and he some how knew that.

I decided I was just adding to my own anxiety by listening to everyone and blocked most of them out, except Alice. She was going to let me know when the guests would be close so I could get ready. Right now she was singing "We're going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married." Quite funny really. I didn't want to know what Bella was going to look like, I wanted to see it for myself when she walked down the stairs in just two short hours.

I had just picked up a branch in the yard when Jasper's thoughts struck me as odd, he was shouting them. _I have never seen him like this. He is the happiest I have ever seen him. Edward has found his mate. He deserves her, not matter what he says. _

"You don't care?" I was puzzled. Not once did he think of Bella, on her day. No his thoughts were centered around me. How odd.

Emmett huffed dramatically, like he always did. He hated when I pulled a question from someone's thoughts and didn't let him in. He just eyed Jasper up, like an opponent sizing up his target.

"Don't care about what?"_ What was I thinking? All I said was he's happier then I have ever seen him in these many years. _

I frowned ever so slightly. I hadn't realized I had been _that_ miserable. " Everyone is obsessing over Bella, and you are thing of me? This is her day to shine, not mine. I just get the gift under the wrapping paper" Emmett laughed rather loudly scaring the birds in the trees and winked at me.

"No one ever thinks of the groom. Right now even doing this meaningless work you are oozing happiness, and I have nothing to do with it. I have only felt this one other time." and he was wrapped up in his memories.

He was remembering the first time he met Alice. He was cold, wet, thirsty and angry at himself. Jasper's emotions were obvious even in his memory. Hatred. He hated who he was and what he was about to do. He needed to feed. Out of all the emotions he was feeling in the small café he felt Alice's the strongest. She was in love. The love she was feeling was suffocating to Jasper. He didn't know how to respond, but when she approached him, he felt it himself and understood. This was his mate.

His memories flickered to me and Bella. It was the first time she came to the house. She seemed so brave, and me I was scared. Or at least that is what I thought. Jasper had a different way of looking at things. He felt her awkwardness and my… love? I was giving the same suffocating love that Jasper felt when he first saw Alice in that little room.

"Ah, I see now. " I broke the revere "You know she will be fine… because of my love for her?"

His face became indignant then. "No! I _know _everything will be fine because of love, not just yours, but the love that we all have, the love we share. Make sense?"

"Lost me!" Emmett could be so dense sometimes. Even for those who didn't have my _gift_ could know what he was thinking. His face said it all. Confusion.

Jasper was the first to speak. He was much more experienced on this stuff then me. "We all care for her Emmett. Not a single one of us would let anything happen to her. Even Rose. She wouldn't let anyone hurt her." Jasper made a face that had me laughing. He acted like he was explaining this to a five year old.

"Geeze Edward. You haven't killed her yet. Nothing is going to happen. You and your super self-control." Emmett just smirked at me _Bring it on Kid!_ he thought goading me on.

He had no way of knowing it was coming. I saw it but he didn't. Jasper launched himself at Emmett and flattened him to the ground. The wooden bench Emmett was sitting on was reduced to toothpicks as they wrestled on the ground. This surely wouldn't go unnoticed by our mother.

Sure enough Esme was on top of things. She just walked out the back sliding glass doors. "Boys!" The sight that met her was funny. The two of them popped up off the ground brushing debris from there street clothes looking completely innocent. I couldn't help myself, I burst out with a very loud laugh, receiving dirty looks from my brothers.

"That's enough. Clean up this mess you two made. Alice says everyone will start arriving in thirty minutes." She smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen and walked away. _I'm so happy for him. Edward getting married. What a wonderful thing. _

I had to get Emmett back. His back was to me as we started to walk in the house. I decided the best way to attack him was have the element of surprise. I ran up, picked him up by his waist, flipped him over and ran as fast as I could into the house. I heard some cursing coming from behind "Happy Punk" was all I heard from him as I closed the door to Carlisle and Esme's room. _Just think, we still have forever. I will get you back_

"Are you ready Edward?" Carlisle just looked at me expectantly.

**A/N: This is by far my first fanfic, and the first time anyone has ever read any of my work. There is more to come from this story. It will go their entire wedding and honeymoon. I hope you enjoyed. Please R&R. Tell me what you think honestly. **


	2. Chapter 2: Ready?

**Chapter Two: Ready?**

How could one simple question mean so much? Are you ready? What kind of question was that? Of course I was ready. I had waited over 100 years for Bella. How could I not be ready? I was ready to make her my wife forever. I was willing to take her life away from her, against my will. I was ready to give up everything for her. The only thing I wasn't ready for was tonight.

Her sole demand. Make her my wife in every way possible. That I wasn't ready for. What if I lost control in the heat of passion. What if I killed her? I couldn't and wouldn't live with myself. No for that I am not ready for. Even if I didn't kill her I would most definitely hurt her. I would live through that, but would she still love me after? So many questions and no answers. We both didn't know what is going to happen. The unknown is never good.

Carlisle must have seen I was thinking. "Edward?" _Are you sure you're ready for this? If not just tell her. She will understand. _Always seeing the good in people. Wish I could.

"It's not that black and white." I stopped and pondered this. I could tell him anything knowing he wouldn't judge me. I had once before and not one time did he even think of me as weird. "It's just…." I stopped. It was so hard to speak my feelings. "I want this more than anything. I want Bella in every way possible. The way a man wants a woman. I have for a long time. I'm just so scared as to what may happen. I swore I would never let anything or anyone hurt her again. We both don't know what is going to happen. And it's not just tonight I am worried about, but how about during the wedding." I stopped and looked at Carlisle. He smiled at me. "Think about it." I smirked too. Just the thought. "We have vampires sitting next to humans. Humans next to werewolves." What if our friends didn't feed enough? What if the humans notice we all have the same colored skin? What if the werewolves can't keep their tempers under control? I kept my thoughts to myself.

My father's voice interrupted my fretting_. I just wanted him to get ready. I guess he does have a lot on his mind. _It was my turn to be embarrassed. I wasn't use to it; it was always Bella saying too much. "Oops! I guess I do have a lot on my mind." I barked out a nervous laugh.

Carlisle's eyes turned on me, they were very loving. "Edward everything will be fine. You'll see. Bella will understand if you don't consummate your relationship. She is more understanding then I think even you give her credit for. You only promised to try. And try you will. Don't worry." _You are finest of us all. You will do what is right. _

Then he did something imperialistically, he cleared his throat. How do I begin "Son," he paused. I could hear he was at a loss of words. He didn't know how to say what he wanted. "And you truly are my son. I brought you into this life. I watched you grow into a man. I watched you make good and bad decisions. I let you leave so you could discover who you really were. But I have never seen you act like this. You have made us all so proud of. You have demonstrated absolute control of your nature. You have given up your very self to be with her. She has done the same for. You love her absolutely, beyond reason. Things will work themselves out. She was made for you. Not as a gift, but as a mate. All these years you showed no interest in a mate because she wasn't near you." I was starting to get emotional. "Edward all I am saying is cherish the time you have with her as human, for that is what you fell in love with. And after, love her unconditionally. She is your reward, and you hers." He sighed, he spoke his mind and he was done.

"This was why you are my father, and my best man. Thank you." I deserved none of their love, but took it anyway.

"Edward?" I just looked up at him.

"It's time. Get ready!" I was literally shaking as Carlisle handed me the different pieces of the tuxedo to put on. It got so bad that when it came time to tie the bow tie I had to have Carlisle do it for me. My hands were not cooperating with me. He did it in no time flat. Just like I would have if I weren't so darn nervous.

"What is she thinking" I mumbled as Carlisle stepped away so I could see what I looked like in the mirror. Stunning was the word I would have used if it had been someone else, and not me.

Me and Bella had picked out the tuxedos together. We agreed on the color, charcoal gray. The style of the tuxedo was something else. After many arguments we decided on a tuxedo that had classic 11920's design. Long coat tails, slight pin stripes, and many buttons. The only thing that was missing was the tall top hat. No thank you. Thank god we agreed on that.

"She is thinking that she is in absolute love with you." Rosalie was standing in the door way. _I don't know what she sees but this is who she wants_

"Not what I meant, but thanks for the heads up. What are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be helping upstairs" I said that with a little bit of acid seeping into my voice. Her last thought had me on the defensive. She paid no mind to my words or my inflections as she walked up to me.

Her voice was about as inviting as mine. "I got orders from Alice, and I quote 'Make sure he ready and perfect. Not a seam out of place, every button done and straight.' So here I am, making you perfect" She imitated Alice's voice perfectly. It made me laugh. Her thoughts made me laugh again. _Not that it matters. She would marry him if he were the biggest bum on the Earth. He does look good though._

Wow! Rosalie being nice, sort of. "Thank you." This was odd. She was making sure all my seams and buttons were lined up straight. I stopped her with a quick move of my hand. "Really. Thank you for everything. You have helped make this day, her day, perfect."

She smiled at me, not something she did very often. Her smile turned wicked quickly. "And yours Edward. Never forget that. EMMETT NO!"I didn't even have time to acknowledge what was going on. I was pinned to the floor by my very annoying brother.

"Don't be a pessimist Rose. I just needed to tell him something." He widened his eyes as he looked into mine. _She says perfect day. I say perfect night. Be careful! Don't destroy anything, Esme will kill you both. Remember she is still breakable. Have fun tonight. _He winked at me.

"Ok let him up. The guests will be here in two minutes." Carlisle was standing in the door way with it wide open. Emmett helped me up even thought I didn't need his help. He straightened everything back out on me and left, Rosalie following right behind him. She smacked him on the back of the head. _He thinks I'm mad wait until Alice hears about this. Idiot. _I went to follow them when Carlisle stopped me. "Not you Edward. I have one more thing for you."

He closed the door behind Rosalie. I walked over to him. He placed his hands on my shoulders looked me dead in the eye and did the one thing I never expected. He hugged me. "I love you son"

**A/N: The wedding is next. I hope you enjoyed this. Please leave a review. Good, bad, don't care. I just want to know what you are all thinking. -- dragonlore1981**


	3. Chapter 3: Perfect

**Chapter Three: Perfect**

_I would be nervous too. _"Edward is down there waiting for you." Alice's voice carried above all the other voices in the house. She was calming Bella down. She must have been nervous, lord knows I was.

_She's so beautiful. My little girl all grown up. _Renee was beside herself with joy. She wasn't much help in seeing Bella's face though. I could really careless what the dress looked like, I just wanted to see Bella's face again. After almost a whole day without seeing her was pure torture. I missed her dark chocolate eyes that often saw past my pretenses. I wanted to feel her, touch her again. I was going nuts. How much longer did Alice plan on torturing me. Or Renee for that matter.

I tried Charlie next. _I'm going to miss her. It was so nice having someone in the house with me. I feel like I am never going to see her again. Damn no tears. Maybe no one will notice_. No such luck, his eyes weren't even open. I guess I would just have to wait. Being patient was one thing I could do, or pretend to do.

Just then Rosalie came down the steps graceful and beautiful as ever. She like how everyone looked at her. She was already planning her next wedding. Only Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett wasn't about the show. He loved Rosalie more then anything. He would do anything for her, that much was obvious. That was one relationship I would never understand. They were complete opposites but couldn't exist without the other. I guess not much more different then Bella and me when you really looked at it.

I looked at the time. They were running late. Why was Alice doing this to me. She must have seen me fretting in one of her visions. _Edward stop worrying. Two more minutes. Charlie isn't ready yet. Plus look, your patients, or lack there of will be rewarded. _Damn that Alice. I think she was trying to kill me.

Her vision took me for a second. We were walking down the isle to the back doors. The sun was just setting. Our old lives were setting in the sun. Gone for good. We would walk out into twilight. The end of one day, and the start of a new. How appropriate. Bella was the brightest star in my life. Alice's vision would be romantic, something that we both would never forget no matter how long we lived.

Carlisle and me were standing next to the minister in front of all the guests when Rosalie started to play a generic song to let everyone know it was time to take a seat. Renee was escorted in first to her seat, followed by Esme. Both women were beautiful. Both were happy beyond reason, for two different reasons. Renee was happy because her little girl was getting married today, a little early but with someone who loved her. Esme was happy that I was getting married, after all these years, I found someone to complete me. These two ladies were going to get along great.

Rosalie was good I would give her that. The music was flowing from her fingertips. The song morphed into another song completely. It was Alice's turn to descend from the stairs. Only a couple more minutes and I would see my Bella again. See that beautiful face again. See the woman that loves me beyond reason. I wanted to hear her heart as close to me as possible. I didn't like being seperated from her, and knowing she was so close was making it worse. Sure enough Alice came down the steps in typical Alice fashion, graceful and excited. _Dashing Edward. Get ready here she comes._

The music changed flawlessly. The wedding march started. If my heart were beating it would have been sprinting ready to beat right out of my chest. I only had eyes for Bella. Out of all the hearts beating in the room I heard hers the clearest. It was as if no one else was there. I just wish I knew what she was thinking, or maybe not. It was like she was designed for me. Made her perfect for me. Her looks, perfect. Her smell, to die for. Her ever quiet thoughts, to keep me coming back for more. The lack of self-preservation, so she could be near me. She was truly perfect, just for me. There must truly be a god.

I first saw her feet. Slow and steady as if she were concentrating. She must have high heels on. I smiled at the thought of needing to rescue her from those shoes. I almost laughed. As she came down the steps I could feel myself getting more excited and less anxious. As she stepped off the last step her eyes were still on her feet. Even though Charlie had his had wrapped very tight around her waist she was till being careful. I had to smirk at that. If she weren't careful we would spend our honeymoon night in the emergency room and not on Esme's island. If she were only looking at me. Just then, as if she could read _my _mind she looked up at me. I about ran down the isle, scooped her up and kissed her.

Carlisle must have know, he gently put his hand on my shoulder to hold me there. _Just a few seconds more._ I just smiled at her. Charlie gently squeezed Bella hand. _Easy kiddo. Just a few more seconds_. I guess I wasn't the only one who was ready to be back together again.

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my long existence. Started with her shoulders. I wanted to save the eyes for last. I knew once I saw them I wouldn't be able to go any further. The white dress was perfect. It clung to all the right spots. Excentuating all the right curves. The lace blended in perfectly into the dress. It eloquently draped to the floor flowing into a five foot train flowing behind her. I looked up to her face finally. Her hair was exquisite, her smile lit up the room. The blush coloring her cheeks was mesmerizing, but not nearly as much as her eyes. It was worth the wait to see her like this. She was a princess this day.

Bella took my hand when her father handed it to me. I was home again. Everything would be perfect. She was perfect.


	4. Chapter 4: Inevitable

**Little chapter note. This is the reception. I am going to deviate from Breaking Dawn ever so slightly. Mainly just in dialogue.**

**Twilight is not mine, I could only wish, all credit goes to S. Meyer for her wonderful story. **

**_____________________________________________________________________________________**

**Chapter Four: Inevitable**

Everything was wrapping up. Some of our guests had already left, mostly Bella's acquaintances' from school. Tanya's family was still here and Bella's family were still hanging around. My family was driving me nuts with all the over joyous thoughts. They would surely celebrate tonight, especially Carlisle and Esme, joyous thoughts didn't even begin to describe what they were thinking.

I saw my wife walking swiftly across the deck of the dance floor. It looked like she was trying to hide from someone. _Where did she go? She is quick for being human_ Emmett's thoughts were shocked as he looked for Bella. Her course was obvious. She was heading straight for me. I met her half way, wrapped my arms around her waist and started to dance. I leaned in ever so slightly to whisper to her, even thought it wouldn't make a difference. All the vampires could hear me. " Emmett will never be able to take you from me, not even for a dance" I smiled into her hair as she moved to look at my eyes. I gently picked her up and placed her feet on top of mine and started to dance with her.

"Edward! But there is no music" Her voice was music enough for me. I stopped dancing for a second and pretended to think about it. She just smiled at me. I started to hum her lullaby. Her eyes started to tear up Always the emotional one. To be honest I would to if I could.

She was exhausted I could tell. It had been a very long day. She rested her head on my chest and sighed. She was content, as was I. I tightened my arms around her even more, drawing her closer to my body. As we twirled to our own beat she murmured "I could get use to this" Everything was right tonight.

I smiled as she looked up to my face. "Don't tell me you have gotten over your dancing issues?" I gave a mock grimace. She smiled at me blissfully.

"Dancing isn't so bad -- with you. But I was thinking more of this" she pressed herself even closer to myself. Even closer then I thought was possible. Something inside of me burned. Not my throat, that beast was muted, for now, no something deeper. I could feel my soul stirring. To ever think I had once argued with her about my soul. It wasn't gone, it just was waiting to be woken up again by this beautiful woman, my wife. "Of never having to let go" She always knew the right words. She echoed my feelings. I never wanted to let her go.

I could feel my love for her coming to the surface. It was uncontrollable. At this point in the day, I don't think I wanted to control it. I wanted it to control me. "Never" was all I whispered. Without thinking I leaned down to kiss my wife. I could feel our joint passion growing as the kiss lengthened. I would have long ago pulled away from her, but not tonight. As her soft warm lips moved with mine the electricity that sat muted during a normal day passed through us like a lightning storm. I just had to have more. The passion was strong. I needed her, I kissed her harder, longer. She responded to my needs. Her hands went cautiously not to my hair, but to my neck. She was trying to pull us closer still.

Everything around us was gone. It was just Bella and me. I heard no voices in my head, or my ears. I was completely absorbed in the moment. I never heard Alice's warning until she was next to us on the dance floor, standing on her tip toes to try catch our attention.

"Bella! It's time!" My eye's were closed as I kissed my wife. I ignored Alice. Her thoughts were no where to be found, her regular voice was easy to ignore. I kissed Bella harder, and she reciprocated.

"Do you want to miss your plane?" Alice demanded right next to us. Her voice was angry. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight" _And ruin everything!_ I could see where her mind was going. She was going to tell Bella where we were going. She wouldn't, would she?

I turned ever so slightly, never breaking contact, and murmured "Go away Alice" I started right were I left off. I would never get use to this feeling.

She wasn't giving up so easily. She broke out the sad look. "Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the air plane?" her voice got harsh near the end. But not nearly as mean as her thoughts. _And sleep in it, have it destroyed. Over my pile of ashes. _And still we kissed

My sister growled ever so quietly at Bella, but directed her impatience to me "I'll tell her were you're taking her. Edward, so help me I will" I froze. She meant it too. No bluffing there.

I slowly lifted my face and looked evilly down at my favorite, annoying sister. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

_I love you too! You have to change too. Get a move on. _And then I saw it. Not a vision but a thought. I growled so soft that only Alice could hear it. She wouldn't! "I didn't pick out the perfect going away dress to have it wasted" she snapped back at me taking Bella's hand. "Come with me, Bella"

Bella got one more quick kiss in before she was swept away by my sister. I turned around to go into the house and change myself. I had been so wrapped up in the moment I never heard Emmett or Jasper plan this. They stood shoulder to shoulder, ready to fight me.

Jasper's voice cut into the air. "Come on, we have already loaded all the luggage into the car. The last thing left is you two. Come peacefully and no one will get hurt" _We have something for you._

Alice was singing again. She was up to no good, that was evident. Esme and Rosalie were playing hostess to our few remaining guests. Carlisle was fretting about something, trying not to be obvious. I was back into the same room that I got dressed in earlier. Laying on the bed was a short sleeve dress shirt and navy blue slacks. Not as dressy but still, a little too dressy for me.

I went to reach for the offending articles of clothing, when I was shocked into stillness. Laying on top of my shirt was a small jewelers box. "What is this?" was I all I could sputter out.

Jasper spoke first "It was something Carlisle kept through the years just for today." Jasper was a little uneasy but kept a cool look.

Carlisle rearranged his bow tie and smiled. _I hope he isn't mad at me for keeping this from him all these years. I probably should have given it to him earlier then now. How will he get Bella to agree to this. They spent so much time looking for the perfect one for him, and I had this the whole time. _"It was your fathers. When we acquired your parents belongings I hid this from you. I figured it would be perfect. She truly is good for you. Remember what I said it keep it close." I opened the box and found a perfect gold band. Engraved on the ring were the initials EAM, my fathers initials. I recognized it immediately. After all these years, I knew it well. My father had worn this ring until he died. I would surely have to keep this close. _WHAT!_ echoed from the two spectators.

"Son, she is waiting for you." I looked up from the box and nodded.

**A/N: The next chapter is the honeymoon. This chapter and the next were the hardest for me to write. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am. **

**Please PLEASE PLEASE Read and review. I have had almost two thousand hits and only a couple of reviews. I need to know what you people are thinking. Thank you ---- dragonlore1981**


	5. Chapter 5: The Moment

**Another chapter note. Here it is, the honeymoon scene. I cut the fluff out and went straight to the details. It is not overly descriptive, but you will get the idea. Hope you enjoy it. **

**Again, not mine… belongs to S. Meyer. Lucky woman.**

Chapter Five: The Moment

How could she be so sure? I had been protecting her from me for so long and now I had to what? Let myself go? Impossible. Did she not understand the risk? Or didn't she care? I needed to calm down. I needed to run. No I couldn't run, but I could swim, and swim I would.

*********

One added benefit to the warm water was that my body wouldn't feel as cold. I tried to think of everything, to make this perfect. A private island, so I wouldn't have to hide. The warm climate so she wouldn't freeze when we were close, so we _would_ be close. The mosquito netting so she wouldn't get bit. The fully stocked kitchen, she had to eat. The only thing I couldn't do was protect her from me. I couldn't promise this would work. If I stopped this here and now, she would be upset, but would understand.

She was so close to me now. The walls I had so carefully built up to protect her, to protect me, were being ripped down not slowly, but as if the keystone had been pulled. Everything was happening too quick for me. It was only two years ago that she walked into my life and changed it. It was only weeks ago that she agreed to marry me. It was only a handful of hours ago that she became my wife. And now in a few minutes I would be letting go of my control and _hoping _that I wouldn't hurt her, no kill her. Too many walls were coming down too quickly. Very slowly she laid her hand on my chest. I looked down and almost stopped right there. Her skin, in the silver moon light, looked the same as mine. I couldn't do this, but for her I would. I would do anything for my Bella.

"We belong together." Her voice was confident. Her confidence was all consuming. I believed in that single moment. I wanted to hold her, touch her, be with her for eternity. She pressed her body close to mine. "Forever."

Of all the feelings and emotions that Bella brought out in me, this was new. Never had we been this close, this open with each other. We could hide nothing. I knew in that moment, everything was going to be perfect, just right and this would work. My love for her had never been this strong. Not when I saved her from James. Not when we were reunited in the alley way in Volterra. Not when she picked me over that dog. Not when she agreed to marry me. Not even when she said "I do" and became my wife. In this moment the love I felt had no words. She was mine, forever.

I gently took her hand as I led us a little deeper into the nights water. How would I start this, maybe she would. No, she wouldn't, she would wait for me to make sure I was ready for this. How patient she had been for me. My need for her was unbearable. I just didn't know what or how to do this.

The water was only mid chest on Bella when she stopped me with the slightest touch on my back. Even a slight touch from my beloved could draw me out of my head. I turned to look at her. So beautiful. Her heart was beating a little fast, but nothing to worry about. My heart would have been trying to break free from my chest. I leaned my head down to kiss her gently on the lips. She had other ideas. I let her pull my head and lengthened the kiss. What neither of expected was the response our bodies had. The general electric charge between us was almost audible.

When our lips touched, my hands wrapped around her fragile waist. Her hands were tangled in my hair becoming more eager. Her blood smelled ever so tempting, but nothing that I couldn't ignore. What I couldn't ignore was her body, I pulled her closer. Her naked form pressed and formed around my eager stone form. Emotions I had never experienced this strong flooded my brain, consuming it. Love, want, need, but not lust. I didn't lust her blood or her body. Lust was such a crude word. I loved her body. Over the years of knowing her, touching her, of dreaming of this moment when I would make love to her. No dream could ever compare to this. So soft, warm, full of love for me, and only me.

Surprisingly she broke the kiss. I didn't want to stop, ever. She laced her hand into mine. I could feel her wedding band, my mothers wedding band, pressing into my finger as she turned away, taking me with her. Still holding my hand, she started back to the house. We only walked a couple of paces when I stopped Bella, and pulled her back to me. I couldn't stand not having her close to me. I put one hand on her chin and lifted her face to mine, and kissed her like I never had before. It was as if my whole existence was to tied to this single solitary moment. As she kissed me back I ever so gently picked her up bridal style and headed back to the house.

The double French doors were still open, so the walk was uninterrupted. I had no clue what to do next. And by her silence, neither did she. Instead of over thinking the situation, I let my human nature take over, since as a vampire, I had no experience in this. I gently placed my beloved on the bed. Her head was nestled into the many down pillows lining the top of the bed. How beautiful she really was.

I could feel my need for her growing, as I am sure she could also. Her brown eyes never left mine as I slowly laid the length of my body across hers. I made sure that though she could feel my body, she felt none of my weight. Her soft body under mine was exhilarating. I slowly started to caress any part of her body my hands could reach. The flow of her blood in her veins under her paper thin skin felt like my own pulse.

No words were spoken as our hands explored each other. As her hands reached my jaw line she stopped, and said nothing, but her eyes said it all. She was ready, as was I. I lifted one hand from her side and gently stroked her cheek with my hand as I bent down to kiss her again. As I kissed her I made a mental check on my control, everything was calm and muted. So why was I hesitating?

Bella placed one hand on my neck and one on the small of my back. "We belong together" It was all the conformation I needed. She wrapped her legs around mine granting me permission

" You are more then I deserve" I whispered as I placed a kiss on her pulse point on her neck. "I love you." I whispered again into her skin.

"And I you" she whispered back.

Without realizing what I was doing I was moving nearer still. As I kissed her passionately I entered her. She gasped into my mouth. I froze. A scent hit me like a wrecking ball. Blood. I had hurt her. The one thing I swore I would never do. I started to pull away to end this before it was too late. Before she was laying broken in my arms because I took what was not mine to take. Bella put her hot palms on my chest to grab my attention, to make me stop. I quickly, without thinking, grabbed her wrists, and pinned them to the bed. I needed to be the strong one here.

"No, please" That dreaded word. How could I go on with this. "Please" she said again, almost crying. I had hurt her so bad. "Please, it will pass, I promise" How could I deny her wants, my wants. Of course it would pass. After two times through medical school, I knew the basics of sex. But never experienced it. After many decades living with my perfectly paired siblings, I was bound to hear things I didn't want to hear, see things I didn't want to see. I knew how this went. It would pass.

Always surprising me, Bella did the one thing I never expected. She put one hand on my butt and pushed on my neck. She wanted to continue, at great personal risk. I gave in to _our _needs and moved again. She only winced this time. A single tear drop glistened in the corner of her eye. I gently removed the moisture and kissed her eyelids one at a time. This continued until we found our rhythm.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and tenderly picked her torso off the bed. Her head lolled back in pleasure. Pleasure I was giving her. Our rhythm continued. I supported her with one arm as my hand, as if under its own free will, explored her breasts. He gasped at the touch, arched into my hand, and moaned ever so slightly. It brought me more pleasure to her reaction to my touches, my movements.

In a quick move she was lying on the bed again. I placed my hands on her hips as I felt my self losing some of my control, coming undone at the edges. Her blood was calling me more strongly now then ever before. I pressed the length of my body to hers again. As our hips rocked back in forth in perfect pace with each other I felt as if a hundred thousand rubber bands contracted all at once deep inside me. We picked up the already frantic pace. I had to keep reminding myself she was very fragile and very breakable.

Bella's fingers nails tried to find purchase on my skin as she was too losing herself. Her legs wrapped around mine, driving me deeper. My control was slipping too much. I needed to reign it in, and quickly. I broke this kiss, not because we had gone too far, we were way past that. She needed to breathe and I needed to not breathe just for a second. I went to cradle my head on her shoulder. At that exact moment her head moved the opposite direction giving me access to her artery. The beast within saw the opportunity and was going to take advantage of the circumstance. At the last second I diverted my head to the pillow, ripping it to shreds. Down feathers circulated in the air. Bella never noticed.

It was at this point Bella jammed her head into the crook of my neck. She started to grab for anything to hold on to. She found my hair and buried her fingers deep. She was making sounds I had never heard before. She was in complete bliss. Her body was rocking against mine as we reached the breaking point we had been working towards.

My body froze, no stilled. I was reacting to the greatest pleasure I had ever experienced. Human blood didn't compare to this, Bella's blood didn't even compare to this pleasure. As I laid still in her, the beast with in reared again. I had no warning. Bella had just reached her climax and was started to rest. Still breathing deeply. I had no burn in my throat, no need to feed. Nothing. All I knew is that my teeth were going toward her jugular, and quickly. At the last minute I turned my head realizing what I was doing, and shredded another pillow.

It was over, sadly. We had done it. She was alive. Bella's heart was still beating, the sound filled the air with proof of our success. I touched my forehead to hers, touching nose to nose, as equals. We both were breathing very heavy, as we smiled at each other for an immeasurable amount of time.

Finally, she broke the silence. "I love you" She said and gave a quick peck on my lips. She was tired. I don't blame her, it was a very long day.

"As do I" I replied as I released the hold I had on her wrists. I slid from her and laid down at her side. She curled up next to me, like we were still back home, and went to sleep. I had the whole night to relive this night.

**A/N: This was going to be the end of my little fanfic, but I think I will go through the night, and possible the following "encounter" they have. Please read and review. Tell me what you honestly think. I will take good and bad criticism. I just want to know what you are thinking. dragonlore1981**


	6. Chapter 6: Thoughts

**Chapter Six: Thoughts**

Bella was stretched out across my cold form, sleeping soundly. She truly was exhausted. Her subtle breathes and quiet heart beat filled the air. She was my sleeping seraph. As she was sleeping I relived the night before. It was like any other night we had shared over the past two years.

Charlie was sleeping in the next room over. The tenor of his dreams were sad. He must be thinking of Bella. We were cradled against each other on her small bed as our lips moved quietly with each other. Her body was so soft under mine as our breathing picked up. Her only stipulation for this night, was that I had no shirt. It was laying forgotten somewhere on her floor. My only requirement was that she be protected from my perpetually cold body. She obliged, swaddling herself in a thick quilt.

I rolled to the side, never breaking contact from her skin, so she could catch her breath, and I could collect my thoughts, and urges. My self-control was hanging on by a very lose thread, bound to snap at any moment. I smiled to myself. Two years ago, just being in a classroom with her, I wanted to kill her, and here I was marring this wonderful woman. It seemed my thirst was easier to control then _my _body. I opened my eyes to look at her beauty.

Bella opened her eyes at the same time. Her ever quiet mind teasing me. I wanted to know what she was thinking. Her soul stirred as she pierced my eyes with hers. I could see to her very depths. All the emotions she had been trying to tell me, were present. My love for her burned to my core. I needed her in my life for eternity. I loved her more then words could ever say in any language ever spoken. She was mine. Bella was all I ever wanted, all I ever needed to be complete. My soul mate.

I wrapped my arms around her waist as her warms hands did the same to me. We needed more contact. I gently kissed her neck as she made a soft guttural moan at my touch. Her hands pulled my face back to her. We picked up were we left off.

Bella snuggled into me breaking me out of the memory. Where ever my body was touching her had goose bumps, the rest of her was covered in sweat. That alone was enough reason for me to touch her more. Like I needed a reason. Her response to my touches threw me into another memory. The memory of what we had done tonight. It was as if I was there again. The desires then and now were overpowering.

The first time we touched without boundaries was exhilarating. When we laid here both unknowing, both scared, we connected on a new level of love. Unspeakable love. I remembered it all. Her body soft and hot encompassing mine. Every move she made under me brought countless waves of pleasure. My body responded to hers. She paused only for a short second, in shock. Never had she seen me react so physically to her. My mind went blank. I had never felt so many emotions at one time. Love, passion, terror, unsure, completion, insecure.

Even as I remembered every touch, kiss, spoken word, I was aware of Bella sleeping next to me, waiting for the talking to begin. It wasn't only the talking though that kept me with her night after night. It was the innocence of beauty. She had no guards up when sleeping. It was pure Bella, no pretenses. No protecting me. That was often when she spoke her mind, and figuratively, I would get a glimpse inside the convoluted workings of her mind.

Her body so close to mine was the most beautiful memory I had, ever. To be so close, no blanket, no clothes. Those moments with me were unhindered. Her paper thin skin searing, her aroma alluring. I was touching every part of her body I could. Each kiss was better then the one before it. Her lips pressed to mine during a moment of passion were eager, but loving. Each featherlike touch from her drove me more and more insane. What love could make people do.

Thrown from my dreamlike state, I realized my desires had caused me to imbed my hands into the mattress. Bella was starting to talk.

"Perfect" she purred. That could have been anything. I waited patiently for more. I knew there would be more. Her voice became huskier as she whispered my name "Edward, please" uh oh, "Closer". She was remembering our night together, making love. "Please… yes… closer…more" and she was quiet. Leaving me to my thoughts again.

Bella rolled away ever so slightly, and my world stopped. Along her arm were five perfect bruises, shaped like fingers, my fingers. I gasped. What had I done? Panic set in. I had hurt her. Caused her pain on a day suppose to be void of such pains. I truly was a monster. I did the one thing I swore I would never do, hurt her. I took a breathe to try to calm myself. No such luck. I decided before I started berating myself I would make sure they were truly my fingers. Jacob had gripped her arms hard during there reception. Maybe they were his? I waited until she was breathing softly again and tested my theory. I laid one finger after another over the marks. A perfect match. I had done this to her. I had injured Bella, the love of my existence, in a moment of passion. I quickly closed my eyes and was perfectly still. I had betrayed the trust she put in me, trust I didn't deserve.

As I laid there the words of advise my brothers told me resounded in my head.

"Edward, make love to her. Show her how much you truly love her. What she means to you." Jasper's voice whispered in my head. I listened to him. Every moment of tonight was every moment of love I had ever had with her. I showed her that much. Her body completely around me. Warmth every where. My love for her was unbearable, and to be able to show her so physically made it better. Nothing could excuse what I had done though. I had caused her physical harm.

"Mind you strength. It will be hard, I know, but it is a must. Everything you will feel will outweigh your common sense." Emmett's voice whispered next. His thoughts were sincere as his mind focused on Rosalie, and there first encounter as husband and wife. I tried, I really did. I was careful when I touched her chest. When I brushed her cheekbone. When we kissed. Every movement had been monitored. Even when I delicately brushed her thighs, I watched how hard I touched her.

All their voices slipped from my head. Each touch was brought back to the forefront of my mind with new light. When I picked her up off the bed, and wrapped my arms around her waist, I had held her too tight. Each kiss I reexamined. The kisses were not as gentle as I thought. I was eager for her touch.

How could I do this the person I said I loved. What kind of man puts his wife in danger for his own pleasure. No man would, but a monster surely would, and that is exactly what I was. I hurt her for my own pleasure. She had to be in pain. Of course she would deny that. She was forever trying to protect the wrong things. Always protecting me. She was the one who needed protection, from me, her husband.

As Bella finally started to stir, her heart started to beat a little faster I vowed to myself that I wouldn't, couldn't make love to her again, not while she was human. I threw my arm over my eyes and grimaced as I stared at my arm. Pale white, hard as granite, and inhumanly strong. I had hurt my Bella, my wife, my mate. How could she ever forgive me for this. Her fingers twitched on my chest as she regained consciousness. So begun the first day of forever with my wife.

**A/N: I rehashed some of the things that went on in the previous chapter. I wanted to add some depth, more passion, but I also wanted to show Edward was not angry right after. I believe he remembered everything that night, until he saw the bruises. I also didn't want a complete chapter on his depression. It just didn't seem to fit. I had a heck of time writing this. I think I deleted more in this chapter then any other. Hope you enjoyed. **

***gets on hands and knees* I beg of you please read and review. I will take any kind of criticism. --dragonlore1981**


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